Call it what it is

Back in 1998, Leaf released a set called "Rookies & Stars".

I wasn't collecting then, but when I found out about the set years later, the title annoyed me. "Rookies and Stars"? That's rather elitist. The No. 3 starter, the fourth outfielder, the set-up reliever isn't good enough for you? As a set collector, there is nothing more distressing to me than a set that ignores the "common" players that are the foundation of baseball.

"Rookies and stars" may put fans in the seats, but they're not what makes the game go 'round. If you don't have nine players on a diamond, 24 dudes on the bench, you're not going to win squat, no matter how many "ooohs" and "aaahs" you get from someone jacking a home run 500 feet that accounts for exactly one run, same as an RBI ground out.

However, it's fairly obvious that many people don't think the way I do or even collect the way I do. Because if there were, there would be a significant outcry over the sorry excuse for a product called "Update" that has been issued here in 2017.

I've already explained my issue with 2017 Update. In short-form it is this: The Dodgers' Chris Taylor isn't f'n in 2017 Topps Update. To me, that nullifies the quality of this product by itself. Taylor made more of an impact on a single team -- a team currently in the World Series -- than any other out-of-nowhere player this year. Yet, he's not in Update.

You know why?

Because he's not a rookie or a star.

This is not 2017 Topps Update. This is 2017 Topps Rookies & Stars. Call it what it is. The part of Update that I loved since the days of "Topps Traded" back in the early '80s was spotting players on cardboard in their brand new uniforms. George Foster as a Met. Reggie Jackson as an Angel. Stuff like that. The rookies were interesting, too, but guys in new uniforms was the big draw (if you have doubts about how I feel about this, just check out this post).

I guess with people regularly spending 10 bucks for a Topps Now card of Yu Darvish, we don't need that now.

There are precious few Update cards in Update. The majority of what I received out of a hanger box (I wanted to buy only a hanger pack, but there wasn't any available) were rookies and stars.

But enough of my crabbing about it, let's let the cards tell the story.

A red R will signify rookie. A gold S will signify a star. In between, you might just catch -- heavens is that a commoner in my pack of cards?????

Bring on the crap:

#US59 - Matt Joyce, Athletics

We actually start off with a card upon which Update was built long ago, a guy who changed uniforms in the offseason. But the shocking part of this is the background is purple. I've seen one other person address this. Why is everyone paying tribute to Prince?

#US10 - Ian Happ, Cubs R

One of the Rookies To Get If That's Your Thing. More purple in the background.

#US188 - Trevor Plouffe, Rays

#US231 - Reynaldo Lopez, White Sox R

#US217 - Howie Kendrick, Phillies

#US50 - Cody Bellinger, Dodgers R

OK, even I'm happy about that rookie. Nice pulling, night owl

#US189 - Chad Bell, Tigers R

#US212 - Jose Quintana, Cubs S

This is why I buy Update, right here. A guy who changed his uniform.

#US115 - "M" Is For "Mashing" (Manny Machado and Mookie Betts) S

These things were tired in 2008.

#US253 - Matt Belisle, Twins

#US21 - Christian Arroyo, Giants R

#US218 - Greg Holland, Rockies, All-Star S

I don't mind the All-Star cards in Update, even though it's a second version of a card you already received in Series 1 or Series 2. But they do contribute to the star-glut in this product.

#US143 - Trevor Cahill, Padres

They can get this dude (who by the way ended up with the Royals) into Update but not Chris Taylor.

#US225 - Andrew Benintendi, Red Sox, Rookie Debut R

He was in flagship and Opening Day. No reason he should be in Update.

#US258 - Francis Martes, Astros R

#US181 - Emilio Pagan, Mariners R

#US62 - Travis Wood, Royals

Andy Pettitte, Yankees, Heroes of Autumn insert S
Albert Pujols, Cardinals, Heroes of Autumn insert S

I don't need more cards of either of these two people. I have plenty. You know what I need more of? CARDS OF CHRIS TAYLOR!

#US140 - Sal Romano, Reds R

#US185 - Birds in the Garden, Cardinals (Dexter Fowler featured S)

Here is another thing I don't understand: Update was trimmed to 300 cards last year. Yet these things still exist. They are filler. I have an excellent suggestion of what could go in its place. Rhymes with Fish Mailer.

#US91 - Jordan Montgomery, Yankees R

#US14 - Blast Off! (Correa and Altuve -- this is prescient labeling given last night's game S).

#US260 - Carlos Correa, Astros, All-Star S

#US196 - Brad Hand, Padres, All-Star S

#US27 - Nolan Arenado, Rockies, All-Star S

#US 254 - Amir Garrett, Reds R

#US46 - Dylan Covey, White Sox R

#US216 - J.P. Howell, Blue Jays

Finally! It's a real, traditional Update guy!

#US133 - Keynan Middleton, Angels R

#US123 - Colby Rasmus, Rays

#US183 - Taylor Motter, Mariners

#US52 - Michael Fulmer, Tigers, All-Star S

#US150 - Alex Bregman, Astros, Rookie Debut R

Already sick of this guy. Also, he was in flagship.

#US274 - Mitch Moreland, Red Sox

#US106 - Kendrys Morales, Blue Jays

#US26 - Steve Pearce, Blue Jays

Three traditional Update guys in a row!

#US171 - Brock Stassi, Phillies R

#US298 - Brett Eibner, Dodgers

Earlier, I mentioned that this was a rookie card. It's not. I was unaware Eibner had played for the Royals and A's last year. But he also played all of 17 games for the Dodgers this year. Have I mentioned that a certain teammate of his who is not in Update played 140 games this year?

#US246 - Marc Rzepczynski, Mariners

#US72 - Joaquin Benoit, Phillies

#US233 Taijuan Walker, Diamondbacks

#US24 - Joe Smith, Blue Jays

#US201 - Nolan Fontana, Angels R

#US94 - Justin Upton, Tigers, All-Star S

#US118 - Bradley Zimmer, Indians, Rookie Debut R

#US240 - Jacob Faria, Rays R

#US28 - Drew Robinson, Rangers R

#US282 - Michael Martinez, Indians

#US108 - Wilson Ramos, Rays

#US158 - Phillip Ervin, Reds, gold parallel R

#USS-46 - Jose Bautista, Blue Jays, Topps Salute insert S

#US200 - Yoan Moncada, White Sox, SP, R

This is a short-print. I'm told these are easier to come by this year. I'm kind of over the novelty of SPs and refuse to spend more than a couple bucks for them. But if someone wants to give me $100 for this, that's another matter.

#U-26 - Rick Porcello, Red Sox, Untouchables insert S

#PC-20 Boston Red Sox, Postseason Celebrations insert

#PC-25 Brooklyn Dodgers, Postseason Celebrations insert

These, I believe, are retail/Target only. They're interesting only in the fact that I saw the Red Sox one first and thought, "everyone's so tiny and faded" and then saw the Dodgers one second and thought "OH COOL!"

#ASR-CBL - Charlie Blackmon, Rockies, All-Star relic S

Really have nothing to say about this.

#US19 - Eric Skoglund, Royals R (pitched 7 whole games for the Royals this year. With a 9.50 ERA. ... What's that? I think Chris Taylor just hit another postseason home run).

#HA-23 - John Smoltz, Braves, Heroes of Autumn insert S
#HA-24 David Ortiz, Red Sox, Heroes of Autumn insert S

Both are now doing work for Fox's World Series broadcast. I normally don't mind Smoltz, but he was annoying the heck out of me last night. Must be Joe Buck rubbing off on him.

#US7 - Adam Engel and Willy Garcia, White Sox, Rookie combos R R

Yes, by all means, let's jam more rookies onto cards!

#US235 - Nick Pivetta, Ricardo Pinto, Phillies, Rookie combos R R

#US112 - Ryan Zimmerman, Nationals, All-Star S

#US31 - Danny Santana, Braves

#US153 - Robbie Ray, Diamondbacks, All-Star S

#US144 - Charlie Blackmon, Rockies, All-Star S

#US205 - Zack Cozart, Reds, All-Star S

#US49 - Austin Bibens-Dirkx, Rangers R

#US268 - Miguel Sano, Twins, Home Run Derby S

#US286 - Jeff Hoffman, Rockies, Rookie Debut R

Also in flagship. Chris Taylor is not in flagship.

#US54 - Ronald Torreyes, Yankees

#US271 - Jesse Winker, Reds R

And the whole disaster ends with a rookie.

When I total up the numbers, this is what I see:

Rookies - 29
Stars - 22
Regular update guys - 22 (I counted Quintana in both the stars and regular update categories)

That's a lousy showing for some guys who in many cases played an entire season while several of the rookies barely sniffed a major league locker.

This fascination with rookies and stars has been going on for as long as I've been collecting. It started going overboard in the '80s and really kicked into gear during the period when I wasn't collecting. It is now tarnishing everything I loved about Update. I've liked this product less and less over the years, but now I can't even tell you what it is.

It's not Update. It's not Traded. Heck, it's not even Rookies and Stars.

Maybe it's "Rookies, Stars, Inserts, SPs and a Couple Of Regular Players That Some Cranky Old Guy Seems To Think Belongs In Our Set of Star And Rookie Worshiping".

If you want a pack of RSISAACORPTSCOGSTTBIOSOSARW, they're available in your big box store today.

You can have them all.

I'm not fucking touching it again.