Sunday, August 14, 2011

Slacker pack break

I need to plan my summer vacation itinerary better.

Every August it's the same thing. Vacation's over, cash runs out, and the things that excited me about summer in June become tired rituals. I mope over the start of the busy season that is just around the corner. If I saved up a bunch of vacation time and money for August, I might actually enjoy the month more.

At any rate, I'm in a slacker stupor today. It's about to rain and there's nothing on the schedule. I'll turn on some baseball in a moment, but for now ...

... It's time to play Mario Kart!!!!!!

I've been on a Wii Mario Kart kick lately. We've owned the game for a couple of years and you know how it goes. You can go months without playing it, and then all of a sudden, it becomes an obsession for a week.

Since it's boring August, I've been playing it a lot lately. I'm not any good, because I'm in my 40s and I shouldn't be playing video games anyway. But that doesn't mean I can't be obsessed.

So, here is a pack that I bought two years ago, fully intending to throw it on A Pack To Be Named Later. But since I'm a slacker, I'm not even going to put it up over there. Or maybe I'll double-post it, because, well ... ah, never mind. The slacker forgot what he was going to say.

That happens all the time in August.

Here are the cards ...

1. Flower Cup, Cups Set: This is one of the eight cups in Mario Kart, each consisting of four separate tracks. Coconut Mall is a favorite of my daughter's for obvious reasons. She also picks this cup when we're playing together, because she knows I hate Wario's Gold Mine, and it's an easy way to beat me.

That's the back of the card. Note the "win all 150 cups" in the bottom corner. I'm getting closer, but still not there.

2. The Sprinter, Karts Set: Birdo is modeling the speedy Sprinter. One of my biggest problems with this game is not selecting the right karts. Cornering is always an issue, even if I choose a kart with the best handling. I'm getting better, but I end up on that blasted hill at the end of the race, staring at that ugly rainbow way too many times. Keep bouncing around trees, I know you're laughing at me.

3. Wario's Gold Mine, Tracks Set: Ack! Just looking at this card is deflating. I've finally gotten a handle on Rainbow Road, but this one ... I've fallen off the edge more than Wile E. Coyote.

4. Lightning Cup, Cups Set: I'm trying to complete the Mirror Tracks round and this is one of four cups where I still need to find first place. This particular version of Bowser's Castle annoys me.

5. Waluigi Sticker: Ooooooh, a bubble sticker! Waluigi is encased in a raised bubble, which would please my daughter, since he's her least favorite character. Something about that voice.

6. Mega Mushroom, Fun Tats: I don't plan on placing this on my skin. I'm pretty sure it would be mistaken for a disease by someone. Possibly even me.

7. Donkey Kong, Driver Set: The highlight of the pack for me. Donkey Kong is my driver of choice, although I utilize everyone in a desperate attempt to find the perfect driver (Baby Daisy is pretty darn awesome, by the way).

8. Become a Drift King, Tips and Trivia Set: This card contains game tips about drifting. I have no idea what they're describing. I'll have to have my daughter translate.

The trivia questions ask: 1. What does Funky Kong wear on his head? and 2. True or False, a red shell fired at your kart from a competitor behind you can be avoided.

Here are the answers, because nobody should have to guess on this slacker day:

1. A bandana (I knew this one); 2. True (I knew this one, too, but have a hard time practicing it)

There's the back of the pack in case you actually want to know the odds in this set. I can't imagine anyone collecting it, but the Target card shelves are three-quarters full with stuff I can't imagine anyone collecting.

By the way, I do much better in the Mario Super Sluggers game.

Hope you enjoyed this slacker pack break.

I think I'll see how the Cubs and Braves are doing. It's a game in which I have no rooting interest. The perfect game for a slacker Sunday in August.


  1. As one whose last video game experience was 10 minutes of PONG in 1975 or thereabouts you can imagine how much of this went right over my head. But it was funny stuff anyway.

  2. My fiancee and I got a Wii this past Christmas and have played New Super Mario Brothers Wii to death so we put Mario Kart Wii on our Target wedding registry!

  3. You want some of my vacation? I get 6 weeks a year and have only managed to take about a week so far.