"Making your way to the States today takes everything you've got.
Getting away from identity fraud sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to play the game?
Sometimes you want to go ...
Where nobody knows your name,
But Tribe fans are sorta glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
You're no longer the one to blame
You wanna be where nobody knows your name.
You wanna go where people know,
people know how to play the game,
You wanna go where nobody knows your name."
(News item: Fausto Carmona ... er, Roberto Hernandez ... obtains his visa and joins the Cleveland Indians, but first must serve a three-week suspension by Major League Baseball for age and identity fraud).
(The original Cheers theme song -- the best TV theme song ever -- was written by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo)