Thursday, January 27, 2011

Cardboard appreciation: 1991 Stadium Club Fernando Valenzuela

(A lot of fuming on the blogs lately. Trying to understand it. I understand some of it. Not all of it. I think what it says mostly to me is: stay with vintage and the base sets you can afford. And wear sensible shoes. Time for Cardboard Appreciation. This is the 98th in a series):


An often repeated conversation. Only the name of the set changes:

Night owl: Got it. Got it. Need it. Need it. Got it. Got ...

Little voice inside Night Owl's head: Uh-oh.

Night owl: What-oh?

LVINOH: I don't remember seeing that Stadium Club Fernando card before.

Night owl: Of course you have.

LVINOH: Yeah, I know I should have. But it really doesn't look familiar. Something in the back of your mind told me it's new.

Night owl: You need to stop talking to him. ... So, what -- you're saying that I don't have this card?

LVINOH: Please don't get fired up, but I think you might not.

Night owl: That's ridiculous. Of course, I have this card. It's '91 Stadium Club.

LVINOH: Yeah, I know what it is. I'm saying you might not have it. You better check.

Night owl: Oh, this is stupid. Come on! This is junk wax central! 1991, man!!! EMF! Fava beans and a nice chianti! Radioactive Fleer! I completed this team set MONTHS ago.

LVINOH: Just check.

Night owl: I'm not checking. I had the last card I needed from this set on the Nebulous 9 and everything. It was Bob Ojeda. Somebody sent me the Ojeda card a long time ago. Done and done.

LVINOH: Just check.

Night owl: I'm not. I'm telling you I've got it. I know it. I remember seeing Valenzuela right there in the binder.

LVINOH: You're thinking of the Charter Member card.

Night owl: Uh ... um ... no, I'm not. I've got them both. And stop hassling me.

LVINOH: Just check.

Night owl: STOP saying that.

LVINOH: I'll stop if you check.

Night owl: (*sigh*) Do you know what I have to do to check if I have that card?

LVINOH: Yes.

Night owl: I have to go in the card room and I have step over the binders on the floor. Then I have to reach over to the corner, practically wrench my back in the process, pull up a stack of binders off the cabinet, plop them down on a chair, and grab the binder that has the junk wax Dodgers. Then I have to go through the pages and search for the Fernando card.

LVINOH: Yeah, I know you have to do all that, what are you reliving it for? You could have had it done by now.

Night owl: Because it's frustrating as hell to do all that and find out I HAVE THE CARD ALREADY.

LVINOH: And how do you think you'll feel if you don't do it? It'll gnaw at you. Non-stop. You'll dream about how you lost your dog, but you would have found it if only you weren't too lazy to look for it. And the dog will have a Fernando Valenzuela face.

Night owl: Oooh. I hate that dream.

LVINOH: Then go do it!!

Night owl: No.

LVINOH: Well, at the very least go through your dupes box to see if you put the Fernando card in there thinking you had it already.

Night owl: Oh, hell, no! I'd rather go through the binders.

(*heads to the card room*)

3 minutes later.

LVINOH: Well?

Night owl: Don't ask me that. You were there.

LVINOH: Say it.

Night owl: I didn't have it.

LVINOH: What?

Night owl: I DIDN'T HAVE IT!!!

LVINOH: There. Was that so bad? Don't you feel better?

Night owl: No.

LVINOH: You're so miserable.

Night owl: You made me that way.

LVINOH: Hey, when you're senile, you're going to miss me.


(Thanks to Pictures of Men for the card I didn't know I needed).

(Yes, this is a reprise of an earlier post. Guess I need to go back on the medication).

3 comments:

  1. One of the best posts I've read in a while. Thanks for lightening the mood on the interblogs.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That sounds familiar. I've done that with a few autographs...

    ReplyDelete