Saturday, June 30, 2012

I'm sorry that you're not the Dodgers

(Disclaimer: This post is targeted at one particular person that I know. If you are an Angels fan and offended by this post, please know that it is not directed at you. I have an issue with only one specific fan).

Listen, I'm sorry that you were once a Dodger fan and that you're not anymore.

But don't take it out on the Dodgers or their fans. You're an Angels fan now. The Dodgers don't even play in the same league. Why do you care?

I'm sorry that the Angels don't have the history that the Dodgers have. I'm sorry that they weren't around in the '20s or the '30s or the '40s or the '50s. I'm sorry that no one is writing 300-page odes to Joyner or the rally monkey like they've done for the Bums and Koufax.

I'm sorry that the Angels never had a Koufax. Sure, they had a Ryan. But he was a Met first.

Carew was a Twin first. Jackson was an Athletic first. Guerrero was an Expo first. Pujols was a Cardinal first.

Sutton was a Dodger first.

I know that the Angels are experiencing better times than the Dodgers are right now. Heck, they're experiencing a better decade than the Dodgers are now. But you know what? You don't have to keep reminding us about it. When the Dodgers were going to the Series in the '70s, was any Dodger fan saying, "Yeah, but how are the Angels doing?"

Nope. We didn't care.

But still, here you are ...

You don't have to publicly laugh in our face after the Dodgers were swept by the Giants. Why do you care? WHY DO YOU CARE?

That is not really Jerry Dipoto.

That is just some pathetic soul who is so obsessed with the Dodgers that he actually had to invent a scenario in which the Angels general manager would waste brain matter thinking such a thing.

The Angels don't have a GM like that. But I wonder about their owner, who gave the Angels a convoluted name in a desperate attempt to wrest fans away from the Dodgers. That sounds a little obsessed to me.

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have the most ridiculous name in all of sports. And it's all because of the Dodgers.

That's what's really bugging you, isn't it?

If not, then please focus on your own team when you're sending out that wave of negative energy in all those ridiculous tweets about ... the Dodgers. Which don't happen to be your favorite team, by the way.

When the Angels were doing so poorly and the Dodgers so well in April and May, did I laugh at the Angels?

Did I go running to Twitter in a desperate attempt say something funny about Pujols?


You know why? Because I don't care.

You're the Angels. I don't care.

You're not the Dodgers. You'll never be the Dodgers. You won't have The Boys of Summer, The Infield, Big D, Fernandomania, Bulldog, Gibby, Dazzy, Zach, Casey, Preacher, Nomomania, four straight rookies of the year and then FIVE straight rookies of the year, Bleeding Dodger Blue, Vin, Peter O'Malley, The Bison, Kershaw, The Duke, The Dodger Sym-Phony, Tommy and Willie Davis, the Brooklyn Robins, Pistol Pete, Pee Wee, Billy Buck, the Penguin, Tommy, Walter Smokey Alston, and on, and on, and on.


The color in your history is lacking.

Oh, you have some. Some.

And I'm only pointing this out because you keep pointing out what's bad about the Dodgers.

Every franchise has their bad points. It takes an insecure person to relentlessly highlight them.

Yes, the Dodger fans show up late for games and leave early. Does this affect you in some way? I think a thunderstick has a much greater -- and annoying -- impact.

As a Dodger fan, I should be used to this kind of thing by now. The Dodgers get this stuff from the Giants fans, too.

When you're one of the greatest franchises in the world, people can't resist trying to get a reaction. Jealousy comes in all forms. And this one is wearing an Angels cap and jacket.

You often make fun of the Clippers because they will never be the Lakers.

Why can't you see the connection?

The Angels will never be the Dodgers.

"Good," I can hear you saying.

Well, if it's "good" then shut up about my team, OK?

1 comment:

  1. haha - thanks, buddy.

    i needed a good laugh after attending that torture-fest of a game last night.